No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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