I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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