what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
