I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
