Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
