problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
