Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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