They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
