pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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