u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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