We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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