hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
