im about as happy as oj after his trial
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
