Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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