that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize