so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
