I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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