you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize