Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
