i don't like sucking hair
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
