Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
