Duck Duck Cougar?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
