Yo dont text me then not text me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
