I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
