Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
