Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
