...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize