dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
