My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
