its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
