the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
