Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
