I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
