Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
