i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
