he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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