Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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