Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
