I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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