As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
