i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize