im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
