it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize