dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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