Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
