he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
