Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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