hotel room ftw
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize