I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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