Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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