WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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