Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
