please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
