Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
