I want to stick my p in your. b.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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