Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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