And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
