Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
