after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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