We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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