great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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