i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
