Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
